How to Handle Criticism from Yourself & Others

This time of year can feel like a lot of pressure with some year end wrap up, new products, growth and renewed goals and aspirations. Unfortunately, when you have so very much going on, it can be easy to allow yourself to become vulnerable to other people’s opinions or criticisms.

Being vulnerable can also cause you to reflect back on your short-comings and compare yourself to others and their seemingly amazing accomplishments. It can be very common to carry around negative self talk and that weight can very easily drag you down into unhealthy thoughts and patterns.

It can be internal criticism within yourself or external criticism comparing yourself to others and both are equally as dangerous and damaging. This quote is a personal favorite of mine…

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Teddy Roosevelt

If you spend time comparing yourself to others, you are stealing your own joy. When we feel dragged down and engage in negative self talk, it can be very easy to slip into the habit of allowing ourselves to compare ourselves to others unrealistically.

Comparisons are really always unfair not in your favor, if you are in a negative mind space, you are looking through a filter of yourself that will always make you come up short. Don’t compare your worst self to someone else’s highlight reel on Facebook or Twitter. That is a skewed perception.

In this way, there is no way that you will ever be able to make a fair, unbiased comparison. And what do you have to gain from comparison? Making yourself feel bad will certainly not help you get the enthusiasm or energy to improve and get to where you want to be in your business or life goals.

We often compare certain metrics that don’t really, genuinely matter to us. You can’t allow yourself to compare yourself to others that don’t even align with your goals. Your priorities are different than others and comparing them to yourself to them will just drain your energy and foster negativity, unnecessarily.

When you are comparing yourself to someone else, one way to redirect that energy is to realize that you are focusing on the wrong person if you are spending time comparing yourself to others. The only person worth reflecting on and comparing yourself to is yourself. You will come out ahead if you only compare yourself to yourself.

You are always in the process of becoming, changing and growing. You are a product of your decisions. Ask yourself these questions:

What are you doing today that you could not have done 2 days, 2 months or 2 years ago? What ground have you covered? It fosters such positive energy and can only prove to push you forward!

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How to Squelch Self-Sabotage

Two steps to squelch self-sabotage

Mom entrepreneurs know that in this crazy life we’ve made for ourselves we have to be ever ready and willing to adapt, rethink, redirect, and commit, as decisions are made, projects shift, and offerings change. We set the best goals, don’t we? But if we’re not careful, despite our best intentions, we can get stuck—in the old ways, down that familiar path—and our most common obstacle? That girl in the mirror!

Self-sabotage. We all do it. So let’s set ourselves up for success by learning how to identify it and thwart it so we can get out of our own way and continue in the direction we want for ourselves.

Be honest.

Are you setting goals that you’re really passionate about?

All too often we set goals because we think we should. We do what others want us to do. We make plans based on what the world says “success” means. Ladies, that is not powerful. And when we set goals around anything other than what matters most to us, what we want for ourselves, and what we’re really passionate about, self-sabotage is sure to follow. Give yourself permission to set goals that bring you happiness and make you feel successful.

Are the rules you’ve set for yourself to achieve your goals too rigid?

Let’s be honest. Many of us entrepreneur types have at least a little bit of rebel in us, don’t we? We see a rule and we think, “But why?” and then promptly challenge it. This goes for the rules we set for ourselves as well, especially if they are unrealistic or excessively rigid. Rules are great and help us get where we want to go, but make sure the rules you set are serving you. Rules can be an unnecessary burden or they can be meaningful stepping-stones on the path you choose for yourself. You get to decide!

Are you talking bad about/to yourself?

“You are so lazy!” “Ugh, you should know better by now.” “Again? Really? When will you learn?” Girls, would we say these things to our children? Of course not! Then we shouldn’t be speaking to ourselves in this way. Setting goals is an intention of self-love. We make plans and have hope for our future because we care about ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves accordingly. Positive, encouraging, empowering, affirming words go so much farther than negative self-talk.

Be accountable.

We’re not made to go through this life alone, and the world of business is no exception. Be willing to be honest with a friend or partner you can trust. Share where you know you might engage in self-sabotage. Open up about what you need in order to avoid it or get you back on track when you fall into old habits or patterns. And be that accountability for someone else when they need it. We’re all in this together. A little honesty and accountability go a long way on this journey to success!

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