I Didn’t Make My Goals, Why Bother Making More?

Goal-setting. This is the final topic in our mindset buster series, and it’s a great one to talk about. I was speaking with a client and she was telling me about how she sets goals for her business and her personal life every year, like I’m sure many of you do. She, however, was saying that she always feels like a phony and a fake when she sets these goals because she can never achieve them.

Does this sound familiar? This was me for many years. I hated goals. They felt rigid and prescriptive. I was much more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type of gal. You
might be the type of person who can just live in the present and pull things off. If you’re happy working that way, rock on.

However, if you’re a little frustrated about how your life is going or feel like things are a bit out of control, then we should talk. Goal-setting can definitely help alleviate that feeling. The problem isn’t so much in the idea of goals; it’s actually in creating the goals themselves.

Scared of not reaching your goals

My client didn’t see herself as good enough to achieve her goals. She felt like she wasn’t doing it right. She had totally developed this stigma that she was not one of those people who could set or meet goals. She had developed this mindset where she didn’t want to set any more goals because she felt she could never meet them. Like with all of these mindsets, they are hard to see. They are hard to acknowledge. It becomes our way of being. So let’s take a moment to break this one down. Maybe you can find a nugget that might be helpful to you.

My client didn’t see the point of setting goals because, in the end, they didn’t get done and they just made her feel bad. It’s like when you’re a kid and you touch a hot stove and get burned. You remember that and you don’t touch the stove again. It’s good that you learned from the experience. So, it made sense that my client didn’t want to set more goals. It’s a normal, healthy reaction after a negative experience.

Look at why you aren’t meeting your goals

My question for you today is to ask yourself, “What is happening with these goals? Why is it that I’m not reaching them?”

I know most of you are not slackers. It’s probably not just because you’re lazy and not doing the work to meet your goals. There’s something else going on. What I’ve found is that most people struggle with setting good goals or SMART goals. SMART is an acronym that reminds us goals must be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound in order to be great goals.

For example, if you set a goal of doing something “better,” that’s not specific enough. What does that mean? The same applies to setting a measurable goal. What does that mean to you? Does that mean more money? More time with children? You have to specifically define what that means to you.

Are you setting achievable goals?

I’d like to focus on the third point: achievable. This is the component of the SMART goal setting that seems to be the most difficult. Someone may set a goal of earning $20,000 a month. My question is whether that’s achievable or not. In order to figure out if a goal is achievable, you have to look at a few things.

First, consider the cost of your widget or whatever you are selling. I have a client who is a sleep and breast-feeding coach for new moms. If she sells her services at $25 per hour or at $100 per hour and can work so many hours per month, it will affect how much she can earn in a given amount of time. The first step, then, is to simply do the math.

Second, you want to consider your personal circumstances. If you set a goal of working out an hour a day, but you have twin infants and a toddler, no family or friends to provide support, and no extra money to spend on childcare, you simply cannot achieve that goal. If you set a goal of losing 20 pounds the first two months postpartum like a celebrity, but you don’t have someone measuring and cooking your food, a personal trainer telling you what to do each day, and someone managing your schedule and your image like that celebrity, it’s probably not going to happen.

The point is to move you forward

Remember that goals are supposed to help motivate. Sometimes people set goals that are not very motivating. They say, “I should do such-and-such.” If you hear that word “should,” get rid of the goal. It’s probably not worth achieving. Remember you want to be able to get behind your goals. They should keep moving your forward. They should excite you. If you find yourself dragging your feet, your priorities may have shifted since you set your goals. Take some time to revisit them and make sure the goals are helping you achieve the successful, happy life you deserve.

Not sure about goal-setting? Don’t even know where to start? Get in touch, I love helping you find clarity on your goals and priorities!

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6 Questions to Close Out 2014 Like a Boss

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The end of the year often brings us full circle as we think about the things we have accomplished or fallen short of in the past year. To start 2015 off right, let’s take some time to review 2014—celebrating milestones, reflecting on lessons learned, and looking forward to 2015.

Here are the 6 questions we need to be asking:

1. What mistakes or failures occurred that you will let go of in 2015?
Everybody makes mistakes. Since there is no handbook for how to run your business, these mistakes are inevitable. Beating yourself up them is not the a way to get the energy you need to push forward. It’s important to learn from your mistakes, but it’s time to let go over them so they don’t control your actions in the coming year. Be purposeful, and be done with them.

2. What can you do to celebrate?
You set goals every year, but do you ever take the time to literally list out the accomplishments you had in a year? Pull out your business plan and review your personal goals. Then celebrate your successes, even if you didn’t quite achieve the goals you set. Progress counts, and that’s the fuel that will help you in your goal setting for next year.

3. What did you learn this year?
What an awesome thing to always be learning. I’m sure this year you learned a lot about yourself, your spouse, your kids, your priorities. Take a moment to think of the things you learned—whether it was intentional or by accident.

4. What is the most unexpected or surprising thing that happened to you this year?
Sometimes we get blindsided with unexpected events. Some are good, and some maybe not so good. Take some time to reflect on things that happened this year and how they impacted your goals and plans. Use this opportunity to give these things a chance to be felt and considered, given their proper place, and let go.

5. How close have you come to meeting your business and personal goals for 2014?
Check in with yourself and measure your progress. Take a look at where you got off track and whether the goals you set were right on, or need to be tweaked. Be honest with yourself so that you can move powerfully into next year with the right goals in place.

6. Considering the lessons you’ve learned this year, what will you do differently in 2015?
When you answer this question truthfully, you are on your way to setting powerful goals for the coming year. We are always learning, and if we put that new knowledge and wisdom into action, we’re absolutely setting ourselves up for success.

That’s it! I really hope you’ll take these questions and use them to close the book of 2014 and be ready to open that brand new one for 2015. And as always, I welcome your comments and questions!

Need some help with your goals for 2015? Ready to make a big decision? I’m here to help! Kick off your new year with some personal coaching!

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The fog has lifted

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Hello, Blogosphere. Nice to see you. Been a while.

Just wanted to drop a quick line and let you know I’m back. I’ve been MIA lately given some extreme focus I’ve had about my goals for this year.

I decided to add ecommerce capabilities to my website this year. So I did that a couple of weeks ago.

I decided to start offering a free teleseminar each month so I can help mom entrepreneurs stop wasting their time and learn how to get more of it. I did that a week ago.

I realized I needed to update my business plan to reflect my new focus on teleseminars, group coaching, and creating products and programs from my coaching and consulting. I’m doing that now, and having so much fun with it.

Then it dawned on my that I shoulda had a VA (remind you of a commercial from the 80s?). So I interviewed a ton of great mompreneurs and hired one today.

And I had a very sick little boy who just wanted to stay home with his mom and snuggle for about four days. So I’ve been snuggling a lot the past few days.

While I focused on those critical components of my business strategy (and on my family’s needs), I dropped more than a few balls I was juggling. Keeping up with my blog is one of them.

It’s nice to be back. Stay tuned for some posts on what to do when life gets messy, how to drop the balls gracefully, and how to love the life you live even more because of all that.

Come to think of it, it would be a good idea to subscribe to my blog (click that little orange button on the top right corner) so you don’t miss out those upcoming posts I mentioned.

Have you been in a fog lately? Why? Have you outgrown systems that used to support you? What are you planning to do about it? Please, do share.

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