Why is it So Hard for Mompreneurs to See Themselves as Successful?

What is success and what does it mean to you? Success is not the same for every person, so why do we always seem to slip into trying a one-size-fits-all approach to what it means to be successful? Why is is so hard for us to figure out what success really means to us?

This is a topic that repeatedly comes up in my coaching business. Are you trying to figure out what is next for you or what your next step is? It is important when trying to figure that out, that you have a defined idea of what success really means to you. Not only that, but also your own “yardstick” or way of telling if you really measure up to that definition.

Why do we feel so much pressure? The reason you may feel like you’re not measuring up consistently is because you are using the wrong yardstick. Your definition of success get polluted, bent and misshapen as time goes on. Your goals and aspirations will always continuously evolve as you evolve and accomplish certain things that you set out to accomplish. Your yardstick needs to consistently grow and change with you. It’s very hard to remember to do this with your own definition of success.

Sometimes you just really need to understand that when we say “success” we are really searching for a deep-seated feeling of happiness. Success can look so many different ways to different people, but it never fails that it is rooted in happiness. That’s when life starts looking and feeling the way you want it to. It can be very hard to get there and distractions are so easy to get caught up in as a mom entrepreneur. It is easy to get caught up in doing what others “expect” for us to do, instead of following our heart or our own definition of success. Doing what others expect, you would get a lot of external encouragement and acknowledgement, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right for you.

Another common yardstick that can trip you up is the yardstick that measures your physical belongings and current life situation. Maybe you have the perfect house, that new car or the perfect body you’ve always wanted. You can be so proud of those things and accomplishments, but sometimes that is still the wrong yardstick for measuring your individual success.

Research has shown repeatedly that more “things” does not equal more happiness. Keep collecting more things, working out more or going on more luxurious trips that we think will “prove“ to us that we are successful based on what we have seen in society of “successful people”.

It is important to really define success for yourself and keep the important things on your radar so you know if you are on your way. The first step is to determine your own standards. Don’t worry about how other people measure their success, what is truly important to you? After establishing your standards, it is crucial to doing something that is related to your purpose and that is aligned with your passions. And lastly, focus on intrinsic goals, what will make you feel better instead of on money or time based goals.

If you haven’t already, be sure to grab a copy of my book Moms Mean Business, because you will benefit greatly from this being covered in the first 3 chapters as well as the assessments to help you define your own meaning of success!

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You get what you prepare for

That Mike Dooley…

His “Notes From the Universe” have inspired me again!

I just finished my group coaching call with the Mom Biz Makeover Program gals, and one of the mompreneurs was discussing how her business seemed to continually evolve. She was telling us how hard it was to let go of the brand (name, logo, website, etc.) that she has worked so hard to build, yet that she knows doesn’t represent where her business is heading and where she wants it to go anymore.

She’s not the only one. It happens to all of us mom entrepreneurs: you have to put a stake in the ground, give your business a name, and start building your message, your platform and your brand. But over time, you grow, get better at doing certain things, find that your market wants more of something and less of something from you, and if you’re going to thrive, you evolve to meet these changes.

So you wind up with a brand, a logo, a blog and a website that has cost you tons of time and money, but doesn’t convey the message you know will take you forward. And so you wind up doing something totally normal, but totally wrong: you attempt to straddle both. Or to put it another way, you say something like this: “Well, I really want my business to be X, but I’m not sure that I can get it there, so I figure I’ll keep holding onto my old stuff.”

Here’s the quote that I got from Mike Dooley today:

If someone wants “A” to happen, Lara, yet they prepare for “B,” they will always get “B.”

Prepare for “A”

Simple, isn’t it?

Take a look at what you’re committed to. Are you planning and preparing for that, or are you planning for it not to work out?

Photo credit: The Smithsonian via Flickr
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