How to Squelch Self-Sabotage

Two steps to squelch self-sabotage

Mom entrepreneurs know that in this crazy life we’ve made for ourselves we have to be ever ready and willing to adapt, rethink, redirect, and commit, as decisions are made, projects shift, and offerings change. We set the best goals, don’t we? But if we’re not careful, despite our best intentions, we can get stuck—in the old ways, down that familiar path—and our most common obstacle? That girl in the mirror!

Self-sabotage. We all do it. So let’s set ourselves up for success by learning how to identify it and thwart it so we can get out of our own way and continue in the direction we want for ourselves.

Be honest.

Are you setting goals that you’re really passionate about?

All too often we set goals because we think we should. We do what others want us to do. We make plans based on what the world says “success” means. Ladies, that is not powerful. And when we set goals around anything other than what matters most to us, what we want for ourselves, and what we’re really passionate about, self-sabotage is sure to follow. Give yourself permission to set goals that bring you happiness and make you feel successful.

Are the rules you’ve set for yourself to achieve your goals too rigid?

Let’s be honest. Many of us entrepreneur types have at least a little bit of rebel in us, don’t we? We see a rule and we think, “But why?” and then promptly challenge it. This goes for the rules we set for ourselves as well, especially if they are unrealistic or excessively rigid. Rules are great and help us get where we want to go, but make sure the rules you set are serving you. Rules can be an unnecessary burden or they can be meaningful stepping-stones on the path you choose for yourself. You get to decide!

Are you talking bad about/to yourself?

“You are so lazy!” “Ugh, you should know better by now.” “Again? Really? When will you learn?” Girls, would we say these things to our children? Of course not! Then we shouldn’t be speaking to ourselves in this way. Setting goals is an intention of self-love. We make plans and have hope for our future because we care about ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves accordingly. Positive, encouraging, empowering, affirming words go so much farther than negative self-talk.

Be accountable.

We’re not made to go through this life alone, and the world of business is no exception. Be willing to be honest with a friend or partner you can trust. Share where you know you might engage in self-sabotage. Open up about what you need in order to avoid it or get you back on track when you fall into old habits or patterns. And be that accountability for someone else when they need it. We’re all in this together. A little honesty and accountability go a long way on this journey to success!

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Use accountability to get unstuck

Don’t you just hate getting stuck?

I do, and I have been stuck for about two weeks, resisting and avoiding and ignoring the writing of my ezine, which I publish monthly. Well, being stuck caused me to miss publishing an issue in November altogether. Looks like I’ll be doubling up in December!

But the great news is that I got on twitter this morning and posted a tweet asking for accountability from some of my followers. I got a few replies, all agreeing to message me at 2:30pm today to ask me if I had published the ezine. I am happy to report that setting up this accountability structure and knowing that I had to get it done on a deadline made the creative writing juices flow!

I got it done and published it today with three minutes to spare. That’s record time for writing an issue, especially after weeks of being unable to do it.

Accountability is a great tool to help you get something done you’re committed to doing. I feel so relieved and happy to have completed the latest issue. If you’re interested, you can read it here.

Please share any tips or strategies you use for getting unstuck.

So my suggestion to everyone is to use your network for some accountability. Sometimes just knowing that someone is going to check in with you and that someone cares about the work you’re doing is all you need.

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