I have an amazing friend named Mary who is one of those girlfriends I always turn to when I need advice about certain things. She’s my go-to gal for things like: “What should I wear to my husband’s company Christmas Party?” or “I need a simple appetizer that’s cheap and easy to make, but looks like I spent hours doing it,” or “What can I do to nix the struggle I’m having with my son to do his math homework every night?” Mary is the mother of five kids and the bread-winner for her family. She’s an amazing cook, phenomenal gardener, and as best I can tell, doesn’t need sleep. In short, I admire her a ton and have benefited from her support on many occasions.
Mary is not an entrepreneur. She works full time for a company, which requires her to travel on occasion. But her abilities to run a family, run a household, and get dinner on the table every night (even on the nights she’s out of town) fill me with awe. One day around 10 years ago, Mary gave me one of the most poignant bits of wisdom I’ve ever received. I was sharing with her how frustrated I was as a new stay-at-home-mom that my husband didn’t get me, didn’t understand my life, had no idea what I was going through . . that general sense of disconnectedness many of us feel when we become mothers.
She listened patiently as I whined on and on. Then she grabbed hold of my hands, looked me in the eye and said: “But honey, your husband is NOT your girlfriend.”
I was a bit confused at this response. What could she possibly mean? Of course, my husband isn’t my girlfriend! Those are totally separate things! I shot her a dumbfounded look and waited to hear what she would say next.
Mary explained to me that I was making a mistake expecting my husband to relate to me on certain things that my girlfriends would easily understand. She pointed out that this had nothing to do with how great my husband is, but that I was mis-matching certain topics of conversation with the people most likely to get out of them what I was putting into them.
As soon as she said it, I realized how right she was. Mary totally gets me.
I have spent a lot of time over the years trying to talk to my husband about things that my girlfriends are much more interested in. When I first had kids, I wasted my breath trying to tell my IBM friends all about the joys of motherhood and how amazing it was to watch this little human do absolutely nothing but sleep for hours on end. And when I started my business, I chattered endlessly about it to my parents, brothers, sisters and extended family, who would listen for a bit before gently changing the topic. In each scenario, I remember feeling that I was intruding somehow, taking up their time with something that was of great importance to me, but not to them.
The point of this long ramble is that we all want to be understood. We want others to be able to acknowledge what’s important to us, and if we don’t get that support and acknowledgment, we feel bad. We may start to doubt ourselves. We may start letting go of our dreams or goals, and we might let our fears take over.
As a mom entrepreneur, it’s hard to find people who have been where we are and who know what we’re going to go through next. Heck–it’s hard to find people who understand why we even WANT to run a business when running a family is such an all-encompassing (and all-important) role.
So think about who in your world understands all that you’re up to.
Who can you talk to about babies that won’t sleep, or how frustrated you feel about having no time or energy to exercise?
Who understands why you’re doing this business, and why it’s so important for you to do it, even if it’s hard?
Who in your world can you invite over for a playdate, who can enjoy watching the kids play while you pick each others’ brains for business development or marketing strategies?
The job(s) we do as mom biz owners are tough ones, Ladies. We need support. We need champions.
Let’s get online and talk tonight during #MomBizMondays about the things that make sense to us.
Tonight’s #MomBizMondays twitter party is all about Girl Talk–why and how to connect with the right people to support you as a mom biz owner.
Come prepared to chat about the stuff that matters to you, but that your friends and family might not understand. Ask for some help on a big idea or question related to your home, family or business, and get ready to receive some incredibly helpful advice (and virtual hugs) from women who GET YOU! And of course, be prepared to share your wisdom with all your friends.
The MomBizRetreat is a proud sponsor of January 9th’s #MomBizMondays Live Twitter Chat
Monday, January 9, 2012
EST 10:00pm to 11:00pm
CST 09:00pm to 10:00pm
MST 08:00pm to 09:00pm
PST 07:00pm to 08:00pm
Mom Biz Retreat Weekend Getaways for Mompreneurs
***Seats are still available! We’re 18 days away, and the excitement is building! Hurry and grab your ticket now and save $100 off the ticket price with this coupon code: CHICAGO100. Register and details here: http://mombizretreat.com/register/ ***
This party is sponsored by Lara Galloway, @MomBizCoach and Shelagh Cummins @BizTrainHer, co-hosts of the Mom Biz Retreat. The Mom Biz Retreats are mompreneur getaways that offer women the chance to unplug from their daily routines and responsibilities. They get business coaching and expert consulting to plan, develop, market and grow their business during 2.5 days of intensive workshops. And as a reward for all their hard work, the mom entrepreneur participants treat themselves to private Wake Up Yoga Classes, spa treatments, exquisite meals, delicious wines, and the chance to connect with other women who think talking business and family makes a really good time.
We look forward to you joining us Monday night. We would love your help in promoting this chat your communities. Feel free to copy and paste the following tweets to help promote the Twitter Party.
RT @MomBizRetreat – Time for some “girl talk” for mompreneurs! Join #MomBizMondays tonight 10pm ET http://ow.ly/8ngl3
RT @MomBizRetreat – #mompreneurs: Does your family get ur business? Join #MomBizMondays 10pm ET http://ow.ly/8ngl3
RT @MomBizRetreat – @MomBizCoach @BizTrainHer @TimeOutMom will share the importance of “girl talk” at 10pm ET #mombizmondays http://ow.ly/8ngl3
TWITTER PARTY HASHTAG:
MomBizRetreat – http://mombizretreat.com/register/
AGENDA: THEME = WHY GIRLFRIEND TIME AND TALK MATTERS FOR MOMPRENEURS
RT @MomBizRetreat – QUESTION #1: When is the last time you went out with your girlfriends and what did you do? #MomBizMondays
RT @MomBizRetreat – QUESTION #2: What stops you from having more time with your girlfriends? Money, Time, Guilt? #MomBizMondays
RT @MomBizRetreat – QUESTION #3: How are girlfriends different when sharing than your spouses/partners? #MomBizMondays
RT @MomBizRetreat – QUESTION #4: How are other mompreneur friends different than just your regular girlfriends that are not business owners? #MomBizMondays
RT @MomBizRetreat – QUESTION #5: What kind of goals do you have in 2012 for more girlfriend time? How are you going to make sure this happens? #MomBizMondays
PANELISTS + ATTENDEES:
Please be sure to you Twitter Party hashtag #MomBizMondays at the end of every tweet so everyone may follow along in the conversation even if you are not following that person specifically. Please retweet all questions. It would be great if you were able to share your answers to each question. Connect with others at the party and say hello, chat with others, & remember to HAVE FUN! Also be sure to share links to your websites, blogs, and FaceBook pages too! We love sharing! *If you meet some great like-minded people at tonight’s twitter party, be sure to follow them so you can connect afterwards!
No laundry? No kids? No cooking? No cleaning? Weekend away with like-minded women? #MomBizMondays #MomBizRetreat http://ow.ly/8ngtk
Kids driving you crazy? Family not understanding you? Struggling in Business? We help. #MomBizRetreat #MomBizMondays http://ow.ly/8ngtk
The best gift this holiday season? A weekend away to work on and build your business. #MomBizMondays #MomBizRetreat http://ow.ly/8ngtk
#Mompreneurs – don’t hide behind your computer feeling lost and lonely. We can help. #MomBizMondays #MomBizRetreat http://ow.ly/8ngtk
I bet your moneymaker doesn’t involve carpooling and dusting. Come and learn how to manage it all. #MomBizMondays #MomBizRetreat http://ow.ly/8ngtk
Stop struggling with your business. We help you create a clear and definitive path for your business. #MomBizMondays #MomBizRetreat http://ow.ly/8ngtk